Galera crash due WSREP: EX-EX trx conflict for key

We are running galera with 3 nodes working as master.

We suffer outages recurrently due

{{2023-08-05 18:38:29 1 [Note] WSREP: EX-EX trx conflict for key (2,FLAT8)4662276f d3dd0532: source: 82978cfc-31a4-11ee-af05-3a8922616829 version: 4 local: 0 state: CERTIFYING flags: 1 conn_id: 260472 trx_id: 8607408283 seqnos (l: 24491803, g: 4285152971, s: 4285152830, d: 4285152720, ts: 54097039955401871) <---> source: fff1ed96-30fc-11ee-aa2a-3af5a73b22aa version: 4 local: 1 state: COMMITTED flags: 1 conn_id: 448965 trx_id: 8608324339 seqnos (l: 24491731, g: 4285152899, s: 4285152881, d: 4285152720, ts: 54096980172589631)}}

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Then it causes a deadlock on this table

{{{{2023-08-05 18:38:35 1 [Note] InnoDB: *** Priority TRANSACTION:
TRANSACTION 8608324657, ACTIVE 0 sec starting index read
mysql tables in use 1, locked 1
1 lock struct(s), heap size 1128, 0 row lock(s)
MySQL thread id 1, OS thread handle 139856070375168, query id 377722888 Update_rows_log_event::find_row(4285153006)
UPDATE services SET updated_at='2023-08-05 16:38:29.787977', report_count=8535674, last_seen_up='2023-08-05 16:38:29.787580' WHERE services.id = 1654}}

{{2023-08-05 18:38:35 1 [Note] InnoDB: *** Victim TRANSACTION:
TRANSACTION 8608324526, ACTIVE 9 sec
2 lock struct(s), heap size 1128, 1 row lock(s), undo log entries 1
MySQL thread id 446431, OS thread handle 139836972107520, query id 377722268 10.48.40.21 nova
2023-08-05 18:38:35 1 [Note] InnoDB: *** WAITING FOR THIS LOCK TO BE GRANTED:
RECORD LOCKS space id 165 page no 20 n bits 176 index PRIMARY of table `nova`.`services` trx id 8608324526 lock_mode X locks rec but not gap
Record lock, heap no 23 PHYSICAL RECORD: n_fields 17; compact format; info bits 0}}
}}